Random Reflections


I am on vacation this week.  A real vacation.  Every year for my birthday, my parents give me time away by myself and it has become something I very much look forward to.  This year I have a few more days than normal and it has allowed me to relax without feeling the rush to the end. Some people, many people, question the idea of going on vacation by yourself but for this strong introvert, it is truly heaven.  I have not spoken a word for 41 hours except to place an order at Panera’s for lunch today. I don’t feel like I haven’t spoken because my mind is always "talking".  An introvert tends to live in his or her head.  Scary sometimes … 🙂

My goals for the vacation are few. I’m so goal-oriented that I need a break from that.  I spent yesterday just relaxing and doing nothing.  Read some, watched TV some.  I remember why I canceled my extended cable at home.  I can waste quite a bit of time on HGTV! I also lounged at the pool.  I had it all to myself and enjoyed just messing around some on the final days of summer. I plan to do a little shopping and also to travel to a nearby city to take my step-niece to lunch and to see my best friend and her husband.

Although my goals are few beyond relaxing, one goal I have is to do some cleansing and refocusing – both physically and spiritually.  Physically, I have put on quite a bit of weight this past year. Part due to medication side-effects and part due to my own lack of focus regarding eating choices and exercising.  So this week I’m doing cleansing to retrain my taste buds as well as developing an exercise routine again.  Spiritually, I am doing some focused praying. I brought a couple of books on prayer with me to develop my own understanding and prayer practice.  I have realized a need to be more intentional and dependent on prayer in my life – both personally and professional.  It is quite easy to minister out of skill sets or to do lists or current trends.  I have found myself lately allowing myself to be at the mercy of trends and expectations of others rather than at the mercy of God’s leadership.  Pray is the solution to that.

So, I’m reading Richard Fosters Prayer: Finding the Hearts True Home and Philip Yancey’s Prayer: Does It Make Any Difference? Along with reading, I’ve committed myself to prayer times throughout my vacation.

On my way here driving down the interstate with 18-wheelers all around, I felt like a woman escaping away to a getaway with her lover.  I was full of joy anticipating our reunion and time together away from the world knowing fully that my Lover is faithful to be completely present, attentive, and always eager to bless me through our time together. Any failure to meet expectations will rest upon my shoulders … not God’s.

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