Random Reflections

What I Believe

"What I believe is not what I say I believe. What I believe is what I do." 
  Donald Miller in Blue Like Jazz.

Ouch. If the above statement is truth then I believe:

  • my needs often come above the needs of others.
  • my time is more important than other people’s time.
  • God didn’t make me beautiful enough on the outside.
  • someone else will take care of the violence in Darfur.
  • it is enough to feel hurt for people.  Doing something to actually help is optional.
  • my life is my own.
  • I don’t need others.
  • food can make you feel better.
  • I can do a better job planning my own life than God.
  • God does not keep his promises.

Tonight there is a disappointing reflection staring back at me in the mirror.  I’m seeing some wrinkles and age spots I’ve not seen before under the light of this quote. I could stand here for a long time picking apart my reflection, cursing every blemish present but as I stare with a saddened and shamed heart, the transparent reflection of Christ begins to appear over my own face.  His beautiful eyes, staring back at me, are deep oceans of compassion and grace. I cannot look away.  What is it that I see in the depths of His eyes? Understanding?  Forgiveness?  Love?  Belief in me?   

I am so fixated on His beautiful face that I lose sight of my blemishes and wrinkles for a moment.  They are still there, of course, but they all but vanish from my sight.  I fix my gaze on Him and I’m not distracted by my humanness and failures. 

Don’t look down, Melissa.  Just look into His eyes and go forward.

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