There are a lot of ways I could answer the statement, “What I’m Looking For”.
I’m looking for a piece of paper I lost yesterday; some passion fruit juice; a solid reasoning for why we have an appendix.
But those aren’t the answers for today (although if you can provide the answer to any of those questions, I’ll love you a whole lot and I’ll name the new gecko in my flower bed after you.)
The answer today is “What I’m Looking For in a Guy”. (gag, cliche). I’ve already blogged a few times and even preached about the whole “being single” and how I’m okay with that. I am still okay with that. God is a great partner and we have some grand adventures together. I wouldn’t trade my years of singleness. There were times I thought I was ready to trade it in and God protected me from a relationship and a future that would not have been best for me or for us. I’m indebted to Him for making the tough calls for me when I didn’t have the ability to make them myself.
When I was in high school, I made “that list”. You know the list I’m talking about. “My Dream Husband“. If I still had that list (which I don’t), there would be a lot of things on that list that no longer matter to me. The “must love God” and “be kind to others” would definitely still remain but I’m now okay with a partner who doesn’t adore the Smurfs or want to live at Windermere for the rest of our lives. (but if they trash talk Smurfette it’s an automatic ‘no’.)
I use to think that couples needed to have tons in common. But now I know that God can be enough to knit two lives together perfectly.
I can’t say it better than how Ally Vesterfelt did in her recent post “How Much Does Compatibility Matter”. Shared interests are great and it is definitely an easier approach. But it isn’t the only approach and it isn’t the end all. Marriage requires a lot of dying to self and compromise. What could provide more opportunity for that then doing life with someone who is a total slob if you are a neat freak? Or having to listen to screamo when you prefer easy listening on a road trip? And who knows, just maybe you’ll be introduced to some things that eventually you’ll embrace as well.
I’ve met a lot of diverse couples over the years. The couples that were the strongest and the most attractive were not those with a bazillion things in common. They had one sure thing in common – they were passionately in love with God and each other (in that order) and their lives were knitted together in living out God’s call for their lives.
My favorite line in Ally’s post is this:
When I met my husband, there was this deep, peaceful sense that I could walk out my calling with him. That I could do it better with him than I could do it alone.
That, my friends, is what I’m looking for.