Random Reflections

What Women Want

I love vacation.  Vacation is sweet.  I made my way to Springfield today to chill with Kailey.  We saw, we came, we shopped. Good times.  And I am reminded of college life once again.  Hanging out with three college girls and now its 2:00 am and we are just thinking about heading to bed. Geez.  I miss college.  Kailey worked on some homework while I read in the awesome book Searching for God Knows What by Donald Miller.  Miller is a brilliant writer and I own his other hit book titled Blue Like Jazz.  It is very easy yet stimulating reading.  Miller has great thoughts and observations on life and faith.  I highly recommend it to everyone. 

I was completely resonating with a passage tonight so I booted Kailey off so I could post a part of Miller’s book.  Guys – listen up because what Miller says absolutely captures the heart of most healthy women I know.  And gals – don’t give up on receiving what you deserve.  To set it up, Miller is talking about the belief that faith is about relationship, not rules or 10-step programs.  To further express this, he talks about Adam and how he was created as a relationial being.  Here are some of Miller’s thoughts:

The idea of another person had, perhaps never entered Adam’s mind.  Just like a kid who grows up without a father has no idea what having a father would be like, a guy who grows up the only human would have no idea what having another human around would be like.  So here was this guy who was intensely relational, needing other people, and in order to cause him to appreciate the gift of companionship, God had him hang out with chimps for a hundred years.  It’s quite beautiful, really.  God directed Adam’s steps so that when He created Eve, Adam would have the utmost appreciation, respect, and gratitude.  I think it was smart of God because today, now that there are women all around and a guy can go on the Internet and see them naked anytime he wants, the whole species has been devalued.  If I were a girl today in America, I would be a feminist for sure.  I read recently where one out of every four women, by the time they reach thirty, are sexually harassed, molested, or raped.  And then I thought how very beautiful it was that God made Adam work for so long because there is no way, after a hundred years of being alone, looking for somebody whom you could connect with in your soul, that you would take advantage of a woman once you met one.  She would be the most precious creation in all the world, and you would probably wake up every morning and look at her and wonder at her beauty, or the gentle, silent way she sleeps…. Adam was seeing a person who was like him, only more beautiful, and smarter in the ways of love and encouragement, and more deliberate in the ways of relationships.  He must have thought to himself that she was perfect, and after a few days of just talking and getting to know each other, they must have fallen deeply in love.  After Adam had taken Eve to the distant mountains where they could look down on the four rivers, and after he built for her a home and showed her the waterfalls and taught her the names of all the animals, he must have gone on a long walk with God and thanked Him, and I’ll bet that was a very beautiful conversation.  I’ll bet Adam felt loved by God, like he was somebody God was always trying to bless and surprise with amazing experiences, and I’ll bet they talked together about how beautiful Eve was and how wonderful it was that the two of them could know her, and I would imagine that Eve felt safe, loved, not used or gawked at, but appreciated and admired.

I won’t dare to speak for most women but Miller captured my heart beautifully.  A husband should appreciate, admire and respect his wife for her holistic beauty and the feeling of great fortune in finding her should never be far from his mind.  He is committed to creating a relationship in which she feels safe and loved and he is overwhelmed with gratitude to God that God has brought this amazing partner into his life that connects with his inner soul.  And the wife’s calling to walk along side her husband as a source of strength, encouragement and respect is equally as important.  She, too, has  a commitment to appreciate, admire and respect her husband for his holistic beauty and should feel great fortune in finding this soul partner. This is what I desire if I were ever to make a life commitment to someone.  Waking up and seeing that person sleeping and being overwhelmed with deep gratitude to our Creator that we are sharing this journey called "life" together.  Knowing that I am cherished for my soul and strengths and that I am safe and loved.

Miller goes on to bring this home to an even greater relationial understanding.

Considering this couple, and what Adam went through to appreciate Eve to the utmost, I wondered at how beautiful it is that you and I were created to need each other.  The romantic need is just the beginning, because we need our families and we need our friends.  In this way, we are made in God’s image. Certainly God does not need people in the way you and I do, but He feels a joy at being loved, and He feels a joy at delivering love.  It is a striking thought to realize that, in paradise, a human is incomplete without a host of other people.  We are relationial indeed.

How wonderful it feels to know that you are loved.  How wonderful it is to deliver love.  This is what we were made to do in relationship with one another and with God.

Loved and loving – Melissa

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